Winter Cherry
by Eimii
Summary: Every ninja wants some special technique or talent that they can call their own; it's practically an unspoken rule that you have to have one to make a name for yourself in the world (or at least to survive for very long in it.) Unfortunately, the best tricks often come down to who your parents were- but there's always one jackass who just can't keep it in his pants... (AU: Sakura)
1. Chapter 1

_(Disclaimer: All characters portrayed are the creations and property of Kishimoto Masashi. I claim no legal right to use them and i am making no money off of this piece of fanfiction. Additionally, the transitions between scenes in this 'story' will probably seem rather abrupt; sorry if this is jarring, but this was originally written as a rambling series of individually posted scenes exploring of the idea, "What if Sakura had been born with a Bloodline?" rather than a purposeful story with an actual... er... __**plot**__. Anyhow, lots of time and events unstated will pass between certain scenes, so hold onto your pants...)_

* * *

Yamanaka Ino felt her stomach sink as she stared at the brick-walled restroom at the edge of the training ground. She shot a warning glance at the girl beside her. "Don't tell anyone!"

Mirei grimaced in understanding. "Yeah, if Ami heard about this..." The brunette trailed off ominously. "Should I-?" She tilted her head toward the entrance.

"No." Straightening her back, Ino tried to look calmer than she felt as she waved the other girl off. "Go to class and tell Iruka-sensei something. I'll talk to her."

Mirei hesitated for a moment before nodding and walking away. They both knew that Ino was the _last person _Sakura wanted to see right now, but the odds of her opening up to anyone else were slim.

With a sigh of frustration Ino crept up to peek through the shadowed doorway. _If she'd just try to make some __**other friends**__ this wouldn't be so hard. How does she think she's gonna talk to Sasuke-kun if she can't even-_

Ino's thoughts were interrupted by a cry of anguish from deeper in the building. It was a shock to hear quiet little Sakura screaming her lungs out and Ino nearly retreated to let her friend vent - but then the screaming stopped, cut off seemingly mid-breath.

"Sakura?" Ino ventured hesitantly. _Did she __**fall in?**_ Ino's heart leapt into her throat as the silent seconds stretched on and she practically teleported back of the room. "Sakura, are you okay?!" she called again, hopping to the top of the thin pressboard divider between the stalls.

The door of the last stall was closed and inside Ino saw only a lonely pair of ninja sandals, dropped haphazardly in front of the toilet. _"Wha-?"_ Panic bleeding into confusion, she quickly scanned the room but she appeared to be alone. Returning her attention to the scene below, Ino noticed something sitting at the bottom of in the toilet bowl.

As the blonde girl leaned down for a closer look she nearly fell from her perch as a geyser of water blasted out of the toilet, clearing the blockage and slapping her in the face with a bundle of wet cloth. Ino's disgust quickly gave way to terror as a thick, jelly-like _tentacle_ reached out of the toilet bowl to grab the edge of the seat.

**"I- IRUKA-SENSEEIII!"** Ino cried, outside the building again before she even realized that she was moving.**"IRUKA-SENSEI! THERE'S A MONSTER IN THE BATHROOM AND IT ATE SAKURA!"**

* * *

Retaking his seat, Sarutobi Hiruzen gestured to the single chair on the other side of the desk. "Please sit - but don't get too comfortable," he warned. "It would be best if we kept this meeting brief."

"Of course, Hokage-sama." Nodding, the man with the graying pink mane settled into the chair, his disarming smile not slipping an inch. Haruno Kizashi had been on the short list of Hokage candidates that Homura and Koharu had drafted for him after Minato's death - included more for his political acumen than combat ability, as Hiruzen recalled.

_Perhaps those skills can serve us now,_ Hiruzen hoped, gesturing in offer at a nearby pitcher of water. "How is your daughter?" he asked with a note of genuine concern.

"She's... recovering," Kizashi sighed. Stress crinkled the corners of his eyes as he scratched his chin and collected his thoughts. "The experience was more than a little traumatic for her and we're still deciding if we want to send her back to school. Sakura isn't comfortable with being the center of attention, and now..."

"The Yamanaka girl's reaction was unfortunate," Hiruzen agreed. Despite Iruka and Mizuki's best efforts, the 'haunted bathroom' by training ground 11 had become the unofficial 'Eighth Wonder of Konoha Ninja Academy.' Nobody actually _saw_ Sakura enter the building but the rumors cast a pall of mystery on her sudden absence.

"Still, I think it would be best if she returns once things have calmed a bit," Hiruzen noted wearily. "As much as we might wish to protect her, it could send the wrong message if we hesitate to dye her in our colors." Pulling a sheaf of papers from his robes, he pushed it across the desk.

As Kizashi leaned down to examine the document he coincidentally bridged his fingers over his right eye, hiding it from view. "I can see how that might be the case," he agreed with a hint of distaste.

Flipping up the cover sheet, Kizashi ran his gaze over the first page of the report. His eyebrows climbed higher with each paragraph. "I'm impressed; I know most brothels keep records, but all the way back to the first war? Ibiki has still got a nose for details."

"Actually, one of his subordinates did most of the legwork," Hiruzen corrected, reddening slightly as Kizashi flipped to the second page and did the same. "Be thankful that is not the full transcript; apparently one of the madames was old enough to be _my mother_ and Anko-kun decided it was her duty to preserve _every word_ for posterity."

"And the descriptions of... _technique?_"

"She felt they 'lent weight' to her assertions regarding the true identities of each customer."

"And do they?" Kizashi queried, understandably incredulous as he moved on to page three of Anko's lurid yet clinical analysis of the bedroom activities of high-level ninja.

"It is debatable," Hiruzen admitted. Reaching for his pipe as he often did after reading one of Anko's reports, he reviewed the salient points while methodically packing the bowl. "If the records can be trusted your mother-in-law was almost certainly fathered by a ninja of _that clan_ and intelligence from the time indicates that our prime suspect was on campaign throughout most of the war. He was by all accounts a most exceptional ninja as well as an avowed ladies' man."

Lighting the tobacco with flicker of fire-element chakra, Hiruzen took a draw to stoke the flame before delivering his verdict. "It is _believable_ that he could have fathered a child with an Earth Country prostitute and passed on a natural affinity for his clan techniques, but further conjecture would be premature without the ability to examine one of his descendants."

"Shall I arrange that, then?"

Looking up, Hiruzen found Kizashi smiling once more. He'd reached the sixth page of the report and had folded back the others to leave it uncovered. That was the section regarding Iwa's actions after the war, and Hiruzen had a sneaking suspicion of where this was going, but he inclined his head for Kizashi to continue. "Perhaps; what do you have in mind?"

* * *

As he stood on the balcony of his new apartment and looked down at the street below, Uchiha Sasuke had to admit that he no longer felt as betrayed as he had the day before, when the Hokage had informed him that he was being moved. Compared to the empty streets of the Uchiha district, bustling downtown Konoha felt a lot more like the home of his memories, even if he wasn't exactly living like a king.

_If only it didn't smell like ramen._ Looking to the side, Sasuke frowned at the piles of bulging garbage bags that filled the adjacent balcony. A few of them had been savaged by animals at some point, revealing themselves to be filled entirely with cup-ramen empties. _Does he live on the stuff?_ he wondered

That reminded Sasuke that he needed to go grocery shopping - and soon, if the darkening sky was any indication. The village got its fair share of summer storms but this one was looking to be a real monster. _Maybe I should also tell the guy next door to take his trash out. I don't want any of that crap blowing my way..._

* * *

Haruno Sakura felt a little underdressed as she stood on the front step of her temporary home and watched the water sheet down from the gray sky. Actually, make that _a lot_ underdressed, considering that she was wearing a knee-length pink raincoat and nothing else.

"Dad, this is embarrassing! I've been okay since this morning. Can I put on some shorts at least?" she begged, staring up at her father who was much more sensibly attired in a pair of black hakama and an unadorned plum kimono.

"It's a little late for that now," her father pointed out. "Just sit tight and this will be over soon. Besides, I doubt they'll care."

"If you say so," Sakura muttered nervously, returning her attention to the rain. Her father had told her they would be hosting an important guest for a few days and she didn't want to have an 'accident' in front of a guest but she was seriously just one strong gust of wind away from having a _different_ sort of accident!

Before she could formulate another complaint a hint of movement caught Sakura's eye. A strange ripple crossed one of the foot-swallowing puddles in the cobbled street, and Sakura could almost feel her jaw unhinge as the ripple turned into a bump and then a mound, the water moving up and forward like it was a man climbing a flight of stairs.

_**It is**__ a man!_ The absurd standing wave had begun to take on a definite human shape and when it finally stopped in front of them it was instantly replaced by a pretty, pale man with lavender eyes and shoulder-length white hair. He was dressed formally, much like her father, though his kimono was a stormy gray and seemed to shed the rain in a way that cotton or silk shouldn't have.

"Akimori-san?" the stranger asked, addressing her father with a short bow and a tight-lipped smile.

Her father nodded and returned the bow. "Konoha extends its welcome, Nasu-san."

Sakura automatically mimicked her father's bow. She was a little tripped up by the fake name but her mind was already elsewhere. Something about their guest's broad, breathy accent ticked her memory; they'd started working on mimicking regional dialects in kunoichi class and she was _sure_ she'd heard this one before.

Meanwhile, 'Nasu-san' had turned to survey the street behind him with a calculating expression. "This is quite the extravagant fishbowl you have here, Akimori-san," he observed sardonically.

"I'm glad you like it. It was built to hold far bigger fish than you or I," her father explained, though Sakura had no idea what fish had to do with anything. Was their guest from somewhere on the coast?

"I will remember that," the pale man promised with a smirk. Lifting his hand, Nasu-san made a quick gesture and in a heartbeat the street was filled with unnaturally moving ripples as a dozen ninja seemed to melt right out of the rain, scattering to secure the area (or at least that was how it looked to Sakura).

_Wait, wasn't there supposed to be a __**Kiri**__ clan who could turn into water?_ Freezing, Sakura stared in shock at the spectacle that was unfolding around her.

The enemy on their doorstep seemed to notice Sakura's tension for he flashed her a wide grin that showed off a mouth full of jagged shark teeth. "And _this_ must be your daughter," he guessed, sounding very pleased for some reason. "Was that reflexive? That was very fast for a complete transition."

It was then that Sakura realized she'd lost control again. Ducking behind her father, she was grudgingly grateful that he hadn't let her go change; soaking through her clothes in front of a complete stranger would've been even more embarrassing than not having them at all. _I need to get a longer raincoat, though!_ Staring at her feet, Sakura prayed she was transparent enough that the man couldn't see her blush.

"So this is the bloodline freak who flushed herself down a toilet?" a new voice asked, higher than Nasu-san's but with the same sort of Water Country breathiness.

Sakura was absolutely certain steam was rising from her head as she reached up to grab her father's hakama. "Y-you told them that?!" Only the surreal situation and basic manners kept her from fleeing in shame but the turmoil in her gut seemed to intensify as she forced it down. Leaning around her father's leg, Sakura made herself look at the face of her new enemy.

It was a boy, probably about her age. He looked a lot like Nasu-san in miniature, right down to those horrific teeth, but he was _completely naked._ "Why aren't you wearing clothes?!" Sakura demanded, pointing a damning finger at his nakedness.

"He can't affect objects yet," Nasu-san answered, earning himself a glare from the boy. "This is my brother, Shiki," he introduced, clicking his tongue and putting on a too-wide grin that almost caused Sakura into a literally melt in terror. "Show some respect, little brother. Right now we are Akimori-san's _guests_ \- and that is no way to speak to a girl who may soon become your fiancée."

* * *

Tipping back his bowl, Sasuke swallowed the last of the broth before setting it down and sighing in satisfaction. He considered ordering another bowl, but decided to let the last one settle first.

"See, I told you ramen is the best on rainy days!" Naruto crowed, shooting Sasuke a 'Told you so!' grin before diving back into his fifth helping.

Sasuke just murmured his agreement, thankful that Naruto was too busy eating to say more. For some reason this moment just felt _perfect._

* * *

"You two fighting or something?"

Starting, Ino turned to see Shikamaru standing at her shoulder. His usual frown of disinterest edged closer to 'annoyance' as he cut a glance in the direction she'd been looking.

"None of your business," Ino snapped, returning her attention to the other end of the room where Sakura slumped face-down at her desk, forehead resting on her arms like she was exhausted.

Surprisingly, Shikamaru didn't seem ready to let it go. "I sit next to her," he countered. "All she did yesterday was stare at you and _sigh._ It's depressing."

Ino was aware, since since she'd caught Sakura looking a few times - and not always _at her._ Sakura's lonely gaze rested on Sasuke as often as not, though she didn't seem happier for it.

"Stuff happened," Ino hedged, not letting her eyes stray to the class heartthrob since she didn't want to hear Shikamaru's opinion of 'girl drama.' "I don't think she wants to talk about it. She hasn't even come over to say hello or explain where she's been."

"Maybe she _can't,_" Shikamaru pointed out. "It sounds like she got caught up in something troublesome." His expression soured at the thought, as if he'd just remembered that he hated _mysteries_ even more than he hated drama.

"Well, _duh?_ I was _there,_" Ino reminded him. She still couldn't explain everything but Sakura had clearly been snatched out of that bathroom by someone using Shunshin. Not even Iruka-sensei had known anything about it; he'd locked them in the classroom while Mizuki-sensei checked the scene.

That didn't let Sakura off the hook, though! The next day Iruka-sensei had announced that Sakura was out due to 'family issues' but that was an _obvious_ dodge. "Even if it _is_ some sort of big secret that she can't talk about, the least she could do is _apologize!_" After a month of bad dreams and staring helplessly at an empty seat Sakura owed her _that much._

Shikamaru cringed as if her reasoning caused him physical pain. "Whatever; do what you what," he muttered, but as he turned to leave his expression darkened further. "Ino..." he prodded, nodding toward the door.

Following his gaze, Ino scowled as she saw Ami and a couple of her lackeys stalking across the front of the lecture hall. Most of that bunch had ended up in another class, but like vultures they always seemed to know when their prey was weak and alone.

With difficulty, Ino wrestled down her first impulse and remained seated. If Sakura was going to keep giving her the cold shoulder then she'd have to learn to deal with bullies by herself. _I'll do something if they cause too much trouble._

Ino winced as Ami stopped in front of Sakura's desk and opened up with, "Hey _Hanako-san,_ did you have fun with your _ghost friends?_" It had been 'Sadako-chan' back when Sakura wore her hair down over her eyes, but with the 'toilet ghost' rumors floating around...

When Sakura lifted her head Ino was surprised at how _angry_ she looked. Her brow was furrowed and her cheeks were red and puffed out like she was holding her breath. Then she parted her lips and exhaled a _white cloud_ that briefly obscured her tormentors.

When the haze cleared Ami and the other girls were pink in the face and their hair was starting to curl like they'd just spent an hour in a sauna. Shrieks of rage and confusion followed as the three beat a chaotic retreat, pushing past a bemused Iruka-sensei in their rush to get out the door.

"Okay, maybe now _isn't_ a good time to bother her."

"...You go talk to her."

"What?!"

"You'll be fine! She barely knows you! Besides, you sit next to her and class is about to start!"

* * *

_Oh god, why did I do that?!_ Even without looking up Sakura could _feel_ her classmates' eyes like smoldering embers on her back. _So much for laying low until the end of the term..._

"Um... hey?"

Turning to peek over her forearm, Sakura grimaced. She probably hadn't spoken to Shikamaru even _once_ since they'd started sitting next to each other, but here he was, squinting down at her like she was some sort of weird bug and _why did he just flinch like that?_

Sakura opened her mouth to ask what he wanted and then immediately shut it again, burying her face in her arms as she felt rows of dagger-sharp teeth locking together like the jaws of trap. _Ugh! I should've just stayed home!_

"Here."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Shikamaru set a white surgical mask by her elbow. "There was a cold going around while you were gone," he explained a tad defensively. "Kiba got drenched after he put his foot through a rain gutter. The next day everyone had it."

Picking up the mask with two fingers, Sakura examined it. "W-why are you being so nice?" she asked warily. "This isn't used, is it?"

"_No_ \- and you've got a funny idea of 'nice,'" Shikamaru noted with a hint of exasperation.

"Usually you leave me alone," Sakura replied, hooking the loops of the mask behind her ears. He wasn't asking any difficult questions either, but it felt like tempting fate to bring it up.

"Usually you aren't such a _pain,_" Shikamaru grumbled. Leaning forward, he propped his chin on his hand and gave her a beseeching stare. "Look, if you can't say what you want to then just say _anything._ Ino thinks it's _your turn_ or something."

Sakura felt a bloom of warmth in her chest that had nothing to do with steam. "I- she's- I thought she didn't-" Ino had barely even _looked at her_ yesterday. "I was scared she didn't want to be friends anymore..."

With a groan, Shikamaru let his head slip down until his palm covered his eyes.

* * *

"You know, since you came back to school I haven't seen you eat lunch _once,_" Ino observed between bites of the yakiniku bento that Chouji's mom had made for her. "Are you on a diet or something?"

Sitting across from her, Sakura smirked around the straw of her ever-present water bottle. "I don't need to. My body can turn water into whatever it needs."

For a moment Ino bristled; guys always gave a big-eating kunoichi funny looks at the table and that was _such_ a cheaty way around it, but then she reconsidered. "Doesn't that get boring?" she wondered, waving a delicious slice of juicy, dripping meat in Sakura's direction before tauntingly popping it in her mouth.

The scowl on Sakura's face was all the answer Ino needed, but before she could savor her small victory the pink-haired girl unscrewed the cap of her drink and knocked the whole thing back. Then Sakura reached for another bottle from her backpack and did it again. Ino was about to ask what she was doing but as Sakura leaned forward to grab a third Ino noticed a bit of 'wobble' that _definitely_ hadn't been there before.

Going red in the face, Ino gripped her chopsticks so hard they snapped in half but she couldn't find her words again until Sakura had finished her fourth serving and crossed her arms under her now _much_ more impressive bustline. "Dammit, that is _so unfair!_" Ino hissed.

"I like to think of it as a tradeoff," Sakura quipped, grinning in satisfaction. "Enjoy your lunch."

"Ugh..." Looking away, Ino thought about storming off to get a new pair of chopsticks but then another thing struck her. "With as much as you drink, I'm surprised you don't have to go every five minutes," she grumbled in annoyance.

A weird look crossed Sakura's face, as if she wanted to brag but she wasn't sure that she should. "As long as I only drink water I don't have to do that either," she finally replied.

The blonde girl threw her hands up in the air in defeat. "What the hell are you, some sort of perfect superhuman?!" This caused Sakura's grin to brighten by two levels once more, and Ino was sorely tempted to punch her in the face. "I dare you to go back to class like that," she spat.

This time it was Sakura's turn to go bright red and look away. "No way! I've got too many weird rumors following me around already!"

"Nah, I'll be fine! Hinata-chan's about like that too, and nobody gives _her_ funny looks."

"...Really?"

"See, you didn't even notice, did you?"

"Hmm..."

* * *

Staring at the blank page, Umino Iruka took a deep breath and made a decision. "You know what, if I can't discipline her for it then I'm just not going to report it!" Closing the file, he dropped it in the wastebasket beside his desk and headed for the door, glancing out the window to make sure a certain energetic student wasn't hanging around the schoolyard. Naruto could buy his own ramen today; this week's paycheck was reserved for _tequila_.

* * *

"Stop smirking like that. It's giving me goosebumps."

"Ah, sorry." Glancing down in embarrassment, Sakura pressed her lips into a crooked line, clearly struggling not to smile.

"You seem to be in a good mood today," Ino observed, setting down her lemonade to give her friend a measuring stare. "Are you done with the yankee look, then? I haven't seen you wearing a mask lately."

This time Sakura grin was wholly innocent (but no less unnerving for it.) "I decided to take your advice again. It's like with my forehead; if I don't try to hide my teeth so much maybe the novelty will start to wear off," she explained. "It seems to be working too! Nobody's teased me about them since I dropped the mask."

"Uh-huh; I'll bet." Nodding, Ino felt a pang of sympathy for Sakura's future teammates. That insensitivity of hers could be a pain to deal with. "So what did you want to talk about?" she asked.

The sinister smile returned as Sakura totally forgot her earlier warning. "_Hehe_, I'm glad you asked!" Reaching down beside her, Sakura picked up a folded towel and set it on the tabletop. She then proceeded to prop her elbow on it, holding her open palm up in challenge.

"_This_ again?" When Sakura just kept leering at her Ino sighed and set her elbow on the other end of the towel, gripping Sakura's hand in her own. "You switched to sugar-free, right?" she prodded warily. Sakura never managed to soak up _all_ of the drink mix and food coloring afterward, and she hated having sticky fingers.

"Yup!" Sakura chirped, leaning in even though she probably didn't need to. "Alright, on three! One! Two! ..._Three!_"

The moment Ino exerted pressure Sakura's hand dissolved in a splash of 'blood,' dribbling down their arms to soak the towel underneath. The color was a bit more realistic this time, but Ino decided not to mention it; Sakura was having way too much fun with this. "So what was the point of that?" she asked, peering skeptically at the round, blobby stump at the end of Sakura's arm.

Reforming her hand, Sakura held it out again. "One more time!" she demanded.

Once Ino had grudgingly complied Sakura sped through the count in less than a second flat. _"OnetwothreeGo!"_ Making a show of putting all her strength into it, Sakura wrenched her shoulder downward and Ino heard a queer sort of tearing sound.

When she looked down she saw that Sakura's hand was still in her own, but the pink-haired girl's forearm was split raggedly in half all the way to the elbow. Inside Ino could see the vague contours of torn muscles and broken bones, but everything looked a bit too 'soft' and it was all still a lurid red. Squeezing Sakura's hand, Ino found it to have a consistency similar to yam jelly.

"That is absolutely disgusting," Ino noted dryly, letting the hand fall to the table with a plop. "Are you trying to gross me out of eating some of that cake your mom made? Well I'm still hungry and you're a _terrible friend._"

Pouting, Sakura deflated. "I thought you'd be more impressed," she grumped, putting her arm back together again. "I mean, look- 'Regeneration!'" She flexed her fingers to demonstrate that they still worked. "I can call it that, anyway. It took forever to get the viscosity and surface tension right, but now I can use more of my power in a fight."

It was true; being able to fake injuries might help Sakura hide what she was (and it was probably useful in other ways too.) Ino almost relented, since Sakura really did deserve some praise, but then a disturbing thought occurred to her. "Sakura, tell other people about this before you use it," she warned darkly.

As she'd feared, a look of confusion crossed Sakura's face. "Huh? But won't it be more useful if it's a surprise?" Sakura pointed out, her gaze growing distant; she'd probably started fantasizing about wowing Sasuke with her abilities.

Covering her eyes with her clean hand, Ino sighed once more. _Well, at least she's not likely to get anywhere with him like that..._

* * *

"You want me to _what?!_"

"No, wait! It's not like- um..." Waving her hands for him to keep his voice down, the pink-haired girl grimaced in frustration. Her teeth had gone all pointy again so this was an unnerving sight all by itself, but not _nearly_ as freaky and wrong as what she'd just asked him to do.

"Here, look-" Grabbing his arm near the elbow, Sakura lifted it so it was pointed out in front of him at chest level and then she stepped forward into it.

Sasuke didn't pull away immediately, being a healthy teen-aged male and not _totally_ averse to touching a girl's chest (even if she was kind of a creepy stalker.) He was then shocked into immobility when his open palm encountered _no resistance at all_ as it pushed through Sakura's blouse in a spray of arterial red.

"S-see? Easy, right?" Sakura chirped with a shy, nightmare-inducing smile as she took another step forward and Sasuke felt cool air around his fingertips once more. "If you attack from behind using me as a screen we might be able to catch Kakashi-sensei by surprise-"

A rustle in the bushes to the left of them alerted the two genin-to-be that they were no longer alone. Turning as one, they saw Kakashi-sensei standing with one hand held out, his little orange book clutched in the other but apparently forgotten as he stared at the point where Sasuke's arm pierced his teammate's chest.

Sasuke reflexively pulled away, shielding his face as another impossible jet of crimson erupted from the wound.

* * *

"So you passed them?"

"Sasuke grabbed the bells while I was unconscious. When I left Naruto tied to the stump they gave him their lunches since Sasuke wasn't hungry and apparently _she doesn't eat._"

"...You seem a bit upset. I thought this would make things easier for you."

_"These things should be in the files."_

* * *

"Trade kunoichi with me."

Looking into his eternal rival's single bloodshot eye, Gai took a wary step back and straightened his tactical vest. "You know I could never do that to any of my beautiful students, Kakashi-kun. Besides, this is the first team you have ever passed! Why would you-"

"I can't use her," Kakashi bit out tersely. "She has a bloodline. She'd make a perfect sparring partner for your little clone since taijutsu is useless against her. Kurenai and Asuma already turned me down. _Take her._"

"..."

* * *

"Hey, Jerkface! Are you gonna use it or not? Don't just stand there and _moan!_"

Startled, Sasuke turned to see Naruto standing in the doorway holding a basket of laundry. "I wasn't _moaning_, Dumbass!" he snapped, holding up the ridiculously blood-stained shirt he'd worn for Kakashi-sensei's 'test.' "I was just thinking I should wash it separately - but maybe you can just wash it with _yours!_ It can't possibly make them look worse!" He tossed the horrible thing on top of Naruto's pile of orange jumpsuits with a sneer of disgust.

"Hey!" Attempting to dodge, Naruto bumped into the door frame and ended up spilling his clothes all over the laundry room floor. "What the hell is your problem?!" he growled, rubbing his shoulder.

As Naruto stooped to gather his clothes his hand landed on the shirt. A spark of realization bloomed on his face. "Ah! I was gonna ask you - how did you get covered in blood? I mean, you and Sakura-chan weren't hurt at all, right?"

Dumping the rest of his clothes in the washing machine before Naruto could get to it, Sasuke suppressed a shudder. "Ask your freaky crush," he grumbled. He hadn't seen that much blood since- _Haha, not going there!_ "There's something seriously wrong with her - and what's with those _teeth?_ Is she even _human?_"

Scowling, Naruto raised the gristly shirt in a threatening fashion. "Don't badmouth Sakura-chan!" he barked, though not with his normal vehemence. "I mean, yeah, the teeth are kinda weird. And she's always reading books with pictures of creepy skinless animals in 'em..."

While Sasuke took a moment to digest that last part Naruto paused, lifting the shirt to his nose and sniffing it. Sasuke felt his gorge rise as the other boy stuck out his tongue. "Naruto, what-?!"

"Cherry flavored," Naruto observed, blinking in confusion. Looking up, Naruto gave him a wry smirk. "Hah, did you spill a thermos of kool-aid on yourself? Some 'genius' you are!"

_...I am going to kill her. __**I will find a way.**_

* * *

As she looked down at her anxiously waiting charges Yuuhi Kurenai held in a sigh. _No use worrying about it now. At least she seems well-behaved._ Kiba was also uncharacteristically quiet as he peered at the girl beside him, but he looked more curious than upset. _Small blessings, I suppose._

Clearing her throat, Kurenai placed her hands on her hips. "At the _request_ of Sakura-chan's teacher-" She nodded to the pink-haired girl. "-I have agreed to participate in a cross-training exercise between our two teams. In the future you may be called upon to work with ninja who you have never met before and who you will not have time to acquaint yourself with in advance. Therefore, it is important that you are able to adapt quickly to new team arrangements."

Kurenai's tension began to ease as looks of understanding dawned on the three genin's faces. For better or worse Sakura didn't seem to be aware that Kakashi was trying to get rid of her, and Kurenai intended to keep it that way. Facing the girl, Kurenai gave her an appraising look. "Sakura-chan, can you tell me a little about your team's focus? For instance, Konoha Team 8 is training to be a tracking and recognizance team."

Embarrassment flashed in Sakura's green eyes and her tight-lipped smile slipped a bit. "I- Kakashi-sensei hasn't said anything about role specialization yet. He hasn't really taught us any team tactics either, but if I had to say... we're probably going to be a front-line combat team." Sakura nodded to herself in confirmation and Kurenai noted that she didn't seem averse to this dangerous designation.

_I suppose that meshes with Kakashi's encouragement to not go easy on her._ Still, Kurenai was worried; a peek in Sakura's file had revealed average to high potential pretty much across the board, but nothing that really made her stand out as front-line material. Kiba didn't have anything to say about it either, and now that was starting to bug her; just what was so distracting about the girl that her most annoying student was suddenly as quiet as the rest?

Fortuitously, the mission she'd drawn might just be the perfect opportunity to see for herself what the girl was made of. "Well, today you will learn to be a tracker," she declared, drawing the mission scroll from her hip pouch. Unrolling it, Kurenai held it vertically so they could see the picture. "This will be a live capture mission, and this is your target."

Finally Kiba broke free from whatever trance had taken him. _"Again?!"_ he demanded, snarling at the page with a look of abject hatred.

Worryingly, Sakura mirrored his expression with 1000% extra fang. "You guys had to catch him too?" she asked, glancing at Kiba and Shino.

"Last week," the latter supplied, pushing his glasses up on his nose as the background hum of agitated bugs kicked up into the audible range.

"We did it two weeks ago," Sakura spat. "Is she letting him loose on purpose?"

"Meh, this time I say we have my Sis neuter the little shit before give him back. That'll settle him down."

_"Kiba..."_

* * *

_Well, that took longer than expected..._

Kakashi had honestly believed that the Byakugan would be more useful for weeding gardens than that. _Maybe if she hadn't spent the entire time staring at Naruto and fussing,_ he mused, surreptitiously eyeing the Hyuuga girl as he walked behind his team. _Do __**all**__ kunoichi have this problem?_

He'd have to ask Kurenai when _she'd_ grown out of ogling her teammates at inappropriate times. It appeared that he would have the chance soon, for as they reached the top of the steps in front of the Hokage's tower Kakashi spotted Kurenai's signature 'Look down here while I stab you!' wrap dress.

Unfortunately, at that moment he also spotted Sakura walking across the center of the room holding what appeared to be a squirming, yowling tornado of fur and claws. In his efforts to escape Tora had managed to mangle Sakura's forearms quite impressively and they were both dyed liberally with her 'blood' - much to the horror of the Daimyo's wife, who was standing beside the mission desk, pale as a ghost as Sakura approached.

Apparently sensing a change in the cat's struggles, Sakura dropped Tora and the cat immediately made a beeline for his mistress. Kakashi didn't think he'd ever seen such a large woman move so fast as the Daimyo's wife fled from the bounding bundle of gore that she'd just paid good money to retrieve.

"...Impressed?" He asked, sidling up to his unwilling co-conspirator.

"I'll be taking Hinata-chan back now," Kurenai grumbled out of the corner of her mouth.

"Now, now; you can't blame Sakura-chan for this-"

"I can and I will."

* * *

"I-Is Sakura-san going to be alright?" Looking in the direction that Sakura had departed Hinata made as if to follow, but she balked at the last moment, blinking and lowering her gaze to the floor.

"She'll be fine," Sasuke scoffed. Crossing his arms, he glanced toward the exit like he was thinking of escaping before she came back.

Though Naruto didn't _quite_ seem to share his teammate's callous confidence, he didn't have anything to add. He just stared in the same direction as Hinata, biting his lip.

Following Hinata's gaze, Kiba saw that she was looking mostly at the bloodstains on the floor left by Sakura and the cat. They appeared to be _flowing_ in the direction of the girls' bathroom where Sakura was currently cleaning herself up.

_Okay, that's just freaky._ Kiba hadn't though that anything could be stranger than how Sakura _smelled,_ but clearly the kunoichi of Team 7 was just an endless font of weirdness.

"Soo... do her kisses taste like cherries?" he ribbed, grinning at the sour-faced Uchiha. It'd been over a month since they'd graduated; Sakura had to have made a move by now.

With a nearly undetectable flinch Sasuke turned to glare at Kiba. "Why don't you find out for yourself?" he dared.

"Maybe I will."

Naruto's head snapped around like it was on a swivel. _"What?!"_

Looking between the two Team 7 boys, Kiba put on a knowing smirk. "What- you guys scared she's gonna bite?" he taunted. He had to admit that in Sakura's case it was probably a valid concern, but you couldn't be a man of the Inuzuka without having the balls to deal with girls who could literally bite your head off if you made them mad.

Sidling a bit closer to Naruto, Hinata went bright red and began fidgeting anew. "Um, Kiba-kun? I- I don't think that's-"

Before Hinata could finish Sakura stepped out of the bathroom, her wounds healed and her dress mysteriously clean and undamaged, as though she hadn't just spent half an hour as psycho-kitty's scratching post. It was actually kind of jarring.

"Told you," Sasuke noted smugly.

"Hmm?" Tilting her head to the side in inquiry, Sakura walked over to them. "Did I miss something?"

After a second to arrange his thoughts Kiba shook his head. "Nah, I was just thinking that you were pretty cool today. Thanks for dragging that sack of cat shit back for us - though I still think Shino's suggestion was better."

Sakura choked out a self-conscious chuckle. "Yeah, maybe bringing him back half-dead would have been better than... _that,_" she agreed, looking toward the mission desk - probably to see if the client was still around. "Today was fun! Do you think we'll do this again?"

Kiba lowered his head uncertainly. "I dunno; Sensei didn't seem too keen on it. If we don't, tho-" Winding up his courage, Kiba darted forward to give Sakura a peck on the cheek.

That was the idea, anyway. He hadn't anticipated Naruto being fast enough to shoulder him aside or Hinata grabbing his coat to pull him in the _other_ direction, so he ended up landing a bit more on-target than he intended before the two interlopers dragged him away.

"Um- thanks!" Kiba managed, licking his lips as he tried to ward off Naruto fists. _Yup, cherries,_ he noted. Sakura was also a lot softer than he'd expected; it was kinda nice.

For her part, Sakura's first reaction was to go practically purple in the face and slap her hands over her mouth. Then the room suddenly felt several degrees hotter and wisps of white mist started leaking between her fingers. Stumbling backward, Sakura twisted into a sprinter's stance and bolted back to the safety of the girls' bathroom.

A moment later a sound like a thunderclap echoed through the hall and fan of steaming crimson squirted out from under the bathroom door, hissing and bubbling as the fluid began to eat through the floor.

* * *

"...Iruka-kun"

"Hmm?"

_"Put this in the file."_

* * *

"Wait, your real name is _Sakura?_" Dropping his ready stance, the white-haired boy gave her a look of utter disdain. "And you're mad that I call you 'Jellyfish?' At least I've got some imagination - unlike your entire family, apparently."

Feeling a surge of pressure in her stomach, Sakura fought down the urge to blow a cloud of steam in his face; annoying as he was, picking a fight _here_ would be a disaster. "Like _your_ real name isn't 'Water'-something-or-other," she snapped. "I think I'll stick with 'Pervert' though. If you're gonna try to snatch Miyuki-san out of the _women's bath_ wouldn't it be better to send girl to do it? _You do_ have kunoichi in Kiri, right?"

Surprisingly, her nemesis actually looked embarrassed for a moment. "My commander thought it would be better if she kept Sharingan Kakashi _occupied,_" he spat in a tone that suggested the woman in question wasn't exactly interested in _fighting_, "-and my name is Sui_getsu._ Aniki's name is Man_getsu._ It's the 'moon' part that's common."

"Whatever you say, Pervert-san." Since her disguise was pointless now, Sakura let her body flow back into its original shape, stepping up onto the surface of the water to plant her hands on her hips with a sneer of disgust. "I'm sure kidnapping actresses is the _perfect job_ for someone who aspires to be an 'honorable swordsman' of the Mist."

A ripple of... _something_ crossed Suigetsu's face, but he just shrugged nonchalantly. "Eh, it's a job; when she started to get famous some bigwig back home decided he had to have her. _Mizukage-sama_ likes to fob off this baby shit on genin for some reason - though this mission is turning out better than expected," he noted with a evil grin. "It's not every day you get to murder a bunch of lazy Konoha ninja."

"Bring it, bastard!" Vaulting over the tall bamboo divider between the two open-air baths, Naruto landed on the centerpiece of the ornamental rock garden, posing with his finger pointed at the Kiri nin. "I'm not gonna let anyone lay a finger on Yuki-chan!" he declared - though the fact that he was wearing just a towel somewhat spoiled the dramatic effect.

"..._'Yuki-chan?'_" This time there was definitely something off about Suigetsu's expression, but he covered it with a laugh. "Sounds like we've got another 'fan' here," he observed, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

A faint blush took the last of the shine off of Naruto's bluster. "That's not... well... no, we just met, but it's our job to protect her - and Kakashi-sensei would flip his shit if the Icha-Icha movie got delayed again-" he babbled, his eyes roaming around for another topic until they found her. "Hey, Sakura-chan! Do you now this creep?" he asked, dim realization dawning.

Biting her lip, Sakura racked her brain for the excuse her dad had told her to use in case this ever happened. It was mostly the Houzuki who wanted her connection to them kept secret and causing an _international incident _seemed like a pretty crappy way to finish her first C-Rank mission ever.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), Suigetsu came to her 'rescue.' "Yeah about that," he interjected, giving her an ironic look. "Since I've got you here now I guess I can just ask: Aniki wants to go through with the whole engagement thing after all, so how about you come back to Kiri with me?"

"Y-you're _engaged?!_"

"Ugh, _no!_" "_Me?_ To this Jellyfish?!"

Blinking at the simultaneous denial, Sakura gave her 'fiancé' a questioning look.

"I swore I'd go missing nin if he made me do it," Suigetsu explained.

"Then what the hell are you- wait, you mean with _your brother?_ Isn't he like _thirty?!_"

"He's twenty; eight years older."

"Still, that's just... _eew!_ Is _everyone_ in your family a creeper?!"

* * *

_"B-besides, I already have a boyfriend!" _

"You do?! Wait- you mean you and Kiba-"

**_"NARUTO!"_**

* * *

Tilting his head to the side, Suigetsu peered out the window at the street below, halfheartedly searching for familiar faces. _That reaction couldn't have been fake._ Even if she could do a decent enough imitation of 'Miyuki-san,' Sakura was still a terrible actress. Plus, she'd turned as red as a tomato and had denied it right up until the explosions started.

_Ah well, no skin off my nose._ Unless this 'boyfriend' of hers was from some huge, influential clan it wouldn't matter much - and if his brother and Sakura _didn't_ hook up then he wouldn't have to put up with having her for a sister-in-law. Still, it would be a shame if the 'competition' were to have a 'tragic accident' while he was here...

"Terumii-san would not approve of that smile."

With an effort Suigetsu managed to not flinch as he turned to face the corner where his teammate now stood; he was _never_ going to get used to that. "_Terumii-san_ is currently hiding in a bush somewhere, breathing heavily while she watches some old dude's house," he noted with a scowl. "So did you catch anything?"

Removing his mask, Haku gave Suigetsu a look of feminine disdain that the Jellyfish probably wouldn't have been able to copy in a million years. "I was able to observe fifteen other teams, mostly from Ame and the smaller villages," he reported, as chilly as the north wind. "The Suna team are almost certainly ringers, but none of the others appear to be a threat."

"Tch- _laaaame._" Suigetsu's hands were itching to hold a sword, but without anyone worth fighting this was gonna be pretty damn boring. "At least _her_ team will probably be there. I call dibs on the Uchiha and Chou probably wants a rematch with your 'number one fan' so you get to babysit Aniki's little bride this time." Uncurling from the windowsill, Suigetsu gave the infiltration specialist a wry look. "Think you can handle it,_Yuki-chan?_"

Haku quirked one delicate eyebrow. Then his entire posture changed, going from neutral to 'weak-kneed damsel in distress' in an instant. "Are you sure that is wise? Kunoichi always give me such _nasty looks_ and Uchiha-san seemed like such a gentleman... Perhaps we should switch? I will ask Terumii-san about it when she returns!"

"Don't you _dare_, you frigging trap bastard-"

With an ominous creak the door to the bedroom opened. Looming around the door frame, a pair of burning candles stuck through the band of his goggles, Choujuurou fixed a bloodshot stare on the two of them. "Oh, hello Haku-kun! Welcome back!" he greeted pleasantly. "I was going to ask: during the fight, did you happen to get any of Hatake-san's blood on your clothes?" He held up a small straw doll that bore an eerie resemblance to the copy ninja; it almost seemed to _seethe_ with hateful demonic energy.

When Haku shook his head in the negative Choujuurou just shrugged with a sad little smile. "Oh well, it was just a thought. Maybe I can ask Mei-sama for a tracking sample when she gets back..." Ducking his head to excuse himself, the host of the Sanbi retreated back into the shadows, closing the door behind him.

"Choujuurou-kun seems... _different_ from before."

"Eh, you get used to it - and he'll be back to normal in no time. If Tsunade-hime is Konoha's 'legendary sucker' then Mei-chan is Kiri's 'eternal old maid.' You can't _pay_ most guys to mash face with a woman whose breath can melt steel..."

* * *

**WINTER CHERRY**


	2. Chapter 2

_(Disclaimer: All characters portrayed are the creations and property of Kishimoto Masashi. I claim no legal right to use them and i am making no money off of this piece of fanfiction. Additionally, the transitions between scenes in this 'story' will probably seem rather abrupt; sorry if this is jarring, but this was originally written as a rambling series of individually posted scenes exploring of the idea, "What if Sakura had been born with a Bloodline?" rather than a purposeful story with an actual... er... plot. Anyhow, lots of time and events unstated will pass between certain scenes, so hold onto your pants...)_

* * *

"Choujuurou of the Mist, no clan name given; he's completed 27 D-Rank missions, 5 C-Rank missions and one _A-Rank mission..._"

After a pregnant pause Kabuto looked up to give the assembled genin a sheepish smile. "And that's all I know," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "Kiri is extremely insular. In fact, I think this is the first time they've _ever_ participated in a chuunin exam. There are rumors that they have a new Mizukage but this is probably the first real evidence I've seen that anything has changed."

Pushing his glasses up on his nose, Kabuto peered speculatively in the direction of the Kiri team. "He's sharpened his teeth, which _might_ mean that he fancies himself a swordsman, but some clans do that regardless of specialty and it doesn't look like he's got a sword-"

"He uses a sword," Naruto supplied, eyes focused inward as his fingers dug into the fabric of his jersey over his stomach. "He makes it out of this weird bony stuff that grows on his arms. He's really strong too."

Stepping in closer, Shino favored the members of Team 7 with an unreadable look. "You've fought them before," he observed.

Judging by his scowl Sakuke hadn't missed the nervous tic either. "On our last mission," he confirmed. "_He's _the only one we fought, though. The one with the mask wasn't there and Sakura kept the other guy busy." Glancing her way, Sasuke let a bit of heat bubble to the surface. "Do you _know him?_ You two seemed pretty chummy over there," he accused.

"I-is that how it looked?" Sakura asked, trying her best to sound skeptical rather than defensive. She'd been wondering why Sasuke was so snippy lately. _I guess that means Naruto kept his promise._ Still, the look Sasuke was giving her was just hurtful. "We weren't exactly having a _friendly chat,_ you know! I met him once _years ago_ but we didn't even know each other's _names_ back then.

"As to why we weren't fighting..." Putting her back to the room, Sakura pulled out a kunai and drew it across her palm, letting the gash close much faster than normal. "He's a member of the Houzuki clan; he can turn his body into water. He's also a _moron._ I convinced him that a fight between the two of us would be boring and pointless since we wouldn't be able to kill each other, and I kept him talking about _your_ fight so he wouldn't try to grab the client and run."

All of this was _technically_ true and thus easy for her to say with a straight face, but Sakura was still glad she'd chosen to wear a mask today. Kabuto's 'teeth' comment had been a bit too on-the-nose for comfort.

Much to her relief Sasuke looked mollified and Naruto seemed slightly distracted by her mention of 'Yuki-chan,' but a pair of wide gray eyes reminded her that Kabuto hadn't seen her 'regeneration' before. _Um...__**crap**__. It's probably already on those cards of his though, right?_ Lee's profile had seemed pretty spot-on, but now she was curious what Kabuto's cards said about _her._

Fortunately, the older boy seemed more interested in the mysterious foreign ninja. "So... a Houzuki and a swordsman who uses a 'bone sword?'" he wondered absently. "This is starting to sound like a 'Who's Who' of the most feared clans in the Water Country - but I guess it makes sense that they'd want their first ever chuunin exam team to make a _splash_," he noted with weak chuckle.

A bubble of tense silence descended upon the Konoha rookies - until Kiba popped it with a snort of derision. "Eh, I dunno about water guy but if _Naruto_ fought the other one and lived then he can't be _that bad,_" he quipped, earning him a rare sour look from the mousy girl at his side.

Violence flashed in another pair doujutsu eyes across the circle but before either of her teammates could say anything Sakura leaned over to grab Kiba's hood, dragging his nose into the corner they'd staked out for their little huddle. Making sure her surgical mask was still firmly in place, Sakura tried to ignore her burning ears as she pressed her face close to Kiba's.

"Hey, what-?!"

"Just so you know... 'water guy' is probably going to take the first opportunity he gets to try and kill you."

"Well, yeah-"

"No, I mean _you specifically._ Like, he knows your name."

_"...what?"_

"This is _entirely your fault, _by the way. He pretty much lives to destroy anything that makes me happy and thanks to that- that-_ hnnng..._"

"Sakura, your cheek's getting _really hot._ Could you-"

"_Anyway,_ he's got this _crazy_ idea that we're d-_dating,_ so-"

**_"ARF!"_**

"_You_ shut the fuck up! This is _not funny!_"

* * *

Staring at the blank page in front of her, Tsuchi Kin swore under her breath. Three rows over Dosu chuckled, shifting his shoulder so it was even harder to see his paper.

_Yeah, laugh it up asshole! If I fail here we won't be able to finish our mission and Orochimaru-sama will kill __**all of us!**_

Lately, being Tsuchi Kin was an exercise in terror and frustration. Unlike her 'teammates' she wasn't modified; her genjutsu specialty made adding artificial bits to her nervous system problematic. She also really only had one good technique - but it seemed that technique was _absolutely vital_ to Orochimaru-sama's plans, so she'd been included as a backup.

As a result, the two dickheads she'd been paired with treated her as little more than a sandbag to be hauled around and thrown in a corner when the fighting started. She was willing to admit that exploding someone's head with sound waves was pretty awesome, and she knew that Zaku _really was_ too stupid to realize that half his job on this mission was to _keep her alive._ Still, she'd thought that at least Dosu understood how useful she was to have around, despite her less than stellar combat abilities.

_Maybe it's time to __**remind him**__..._ She really hadn't wanted to use this here, but she hadn't been forbidden from doing so - and she really was going to fail if she couldn't at least get one question right. Putting her hands in her lap under the level of the desktop, Kin ran through a complex series of seals and concentrated. _Nehan Shouja no Jutsu!_

All around her ephemeral feathers started to rain down on the classroom. Most of the proctors and even a few of the students had time to look up in confusion, but none were spared as her technique took effect. As one, every other person in the room slumped where they sat or stood, falling into a deep slumber.

Twisting in her seat, careful not to jostle any of the sleepers, Kin looked around at the papers of her neighbors. _Did the pink one get disqualified?_ The seat directly behind her was empty - but a suspiciously red-stained test paper remained, and it looked mostly finished too! After scanning the answers to make sure they weren't completely stupid Kin swapped the paper for her own, then turned around to lay down at her desk, pretending to sleep as well.

20 minutes later the class was awakened by the sound of a shattering window as a dark-haired woman crashed through said window and landed in front of them.

"...you gotta be fucking kidding me."

* * *

"_Mockingbird;_ I've got him."

Relaxing slightly at the code-word, Shikamaru released the Kagemane's hold on their would-be ambusher. As Chouji moved to collect Ino's still form from the bushes Shikamaru extended his shadow outward, probing the trees and underbrush for hidden enemies that his other senses might have missed, but still he found none.

"It looks like he came alone," he announced, though he surreptitiously detailed the 'safe' radius via hand signs. If any enemies were lurking further out he estimated they would have time to get into a defensive formation at least.

"I'll keep watch. Come take a look at his stuff," Ino hissed, his voice peaking with a hint of urgency.

Alarmed by this break from standard procedure, Shikamaru returned his gaze to their captive. Houzuki Suigetsu's profile was rapidly softening and turning translucent, his clothes and equipment falling out of 'solution' and sloughing off to pile at his feet - and from the look of strain on his face, Ino was struggling to maintain even this level of cohesion.

_Huh... I guess that explains why I've never seen her use Shintenshin on Sakura when they spar._ Sakura had gone to a lot of trouble to make her abilities seem like something they weren't and Shikamaru doubted she would appreciate Ino laying her secrets (and other things) bare for the world to see.

Stooping, Shikamaru sifted through Suigetsu's gear with the tip of a kunai. He didn't expect to find anything of value but he was surprised again when a plastic-wrapped Earth Scroll slid out of one soggy pant leg. "He came after us alone _and_ he had a scroll on him?" he wondered, eyeing their prize incredulously. Either they weren't the first team Suigetsu had hit or the Kiri team was _really confident_ in his abilities.

"Well, Sakura did say he was a moron," Ino pointed out with a snaggle-toothed smirk. "He was probably thinking with his _sword_ instead of his head." Behind him Chouji grunted in amusement as he hefted the blonde girl's real body onto his back.

"Meh; I'm not gonna complain if he wants to save us a bit of hassle. I just don't trust our luck that much." Pocketing the scroll, Shikamaru planted a proximity-fused explosive tag in the center of the pile and backed away quickly. "Let's get out of here before it turns again." Sighting toward the tower at the center of the forest, he nodded to Chouji.

As the boys took off through the treetops Shikamaru resumed scanning the shadows. Technically, they still needed a Heaven Scroll to finish the test since they'd _started_ with an Earth Scroll, but between the insinuations that they were done and Ino running his body in the opposite direction as fast as she could, hopefully Suigetsu would head straight for the tower when he came looking for revenge.

* * *

After a breathless minute Dosu lifted his ear from the ground. "The water's deeper than it looks," he observed. He cast a jaundiced eye toward the idyllic poolside clearing at the foot of the hill. "The crevasse feeding the spring goes all the way to the aquifer - and there's a huge octopus at the bottom of it."

"..._Seriously?_" Kin felt her brows creep upward. After an evening of fighting off hungry animals of every possible description she'd thought she was _over_ the ridiculous man-eating megafauna of the Forest of Death, but apparently she was wrong. "What the hell is _wrong_ with this place?" she asked no one in particular.

Dosu snorted. "I doubt this one's local. It's full of air and there are two sleeping brats inside it."

"Well... that's different," Zaku quipped, though to Kin's surprise he didn't follow up by suggesting that they'd been eaten. "Are you sure it's them? Why would Konoha trash know how to summon some weird fish?"

Kin was tempted to point out that an octopus wasn't a 'weird fish' but their de facto leader just shrugged. "They might've known what to expect out here," he speculated. "We can find out if it's them easily enough. We just gotta give 'em a little _wake up call._" Dosu peered at the other boy significantly.

Zaku grinned. "Works for me!" Flexing his fingers around the blowholes in his palms, he prepared to leap down to the edge of the water. "Want me to make it rain, or should I just scramble their brains in their skulls?"

Just as Kin was about to suggest that he did whichever made less _goddamn noise,_ Dosu held up his hand for silence, tilting his head to indicate that they should adjust their cover positions. Moments later a blur burst into the clearing from the opposite side, sailing through the air to _splatter_ wetly against the rocky shore beside the spring.

At first it just looked like water or maybe some sort of slime, but rather than running downhill the blob began flowing toward a central point, mounding up and twisting in on itself until it was roughly man-shaped. In a flash of alabaster the liquid pillar was replaced by a pale, white-haired boy. Clenching his fists, Houzuki Suigetsu roared at the sky. "_Aaargh!_ That _fucking bitch!_"

Presumably he was talking about whomever had stolen his clothes, but Kin would happily buy that girl a drink if it wasn't so likely that they'd have to kill each other afterward. _Swimmer's abs, yum! _In the back of her mind Kin also noted that the kids hiding in the spring were probably the other Kiri genin rather than their prey. Unfortunately, one look at her own team told her that they were all too eager to take another short 'detour' if it meant a chance to test the legend of the 'Bloody Mist.'

_Bloody morons; have fun with playing with the fucking __**river kraken!**__ I'll just be waiting up here in the trees, out of 'naughty tentacle' range..._

* * *

The first thing Sasuke was aware of was the pressure, like a giant, clammy hand clenched around his chest, hurling him out of the suffocating darkness toward the sun. Burning shadows with red and gold eyes still dragged at him but their whispers were drowned out by the turbulence of his ascent until he broke through a wall of light and he was suddenly falling again.

It was the impact that finally shook him from his slumber. Sasuke ignored the ache of his abused ribs as he rolled to his feet, a terrible potency coursing though his veins. He could almost _taste_ the murderous intent lingering in the air but as he searched his surroundings for targets he could see only the aftermath of battle.

Deep gouges in the ground revealed damp earth that hadn't been an hour under the sun while shattered trees told him of a time when the hole in the forest canopy had been much smaller. To one side of him lay Naruto, closer to the water but in no danger of falling in. His chest rose and fell peacefully and he was soaked to the bone. Sakura was nowhere to be seen but liberal smears of crimson painted the rocks around the icy pool they'd apparently been thrown from.

Reaching down, Sasuke picked up a bloody pebble and sniffed it. _Not cherry flavored._ He wasn't sure if he should feel relieved or not, but the need to _move_ made him grab Naruto and drag him toward the concealing shadows of the forest. He hadn't turned his back on the water for two seconds before a strange vibration crawled up through his toes, making him toss Naruto ahead and drop into a ready stance. The Sharingan forced time to crawl as the surface of the pond bulged and ruptured, disgorging a scene that could have come from a drunken sea shanty about the terrors of the deep.

It was obviously the boy who'd launched them into the air, judging by the kicking shark tail that trailed him. The girl was too busy twining around her foe with the grasping legs of an octopus - thought they both seemed to be spun from the water itself so it was hard to tell where one of them ended and the other began. The struggling pair described a graceful arc over the shore, clearing Sasuke's head by several meters to land with a splash in the bushes some distance away.

"Just go away! You know you can't win!" Sakura's voice snarled over the sound of continued liquid thrashing.

"Hah! As if, _Jellyfish!_" a less familiar voice barked. "You may have evolved a little but you're still a spineless coward with a soft, bulbous head!"

"_Grrragh!_ Okay, _don't run!_ I've always wanted to find out if I could boil you to death!"

Sasuke felt the urge to violence drain out of him as he grabbed Naruto's leg and started dragging him toward the shade of a large boulder instead. "I think I liked the fever dreams better," he mused.

_Clingy and pink with sharp, pointy teeth and__** tentacles?**_ Sasuke was unable to suppress a shudder. If Kiba didn't man up soon he was going to have to sacrifice Naruto after all, to protect his own sanity.

* * *

Shrugging her shoulders as the web of golden strands began to detach and fall away, Ino turned to examine herself. Her real body lay slumped a few feet away in an embarrassing pose, butt in the air and right cheek pressed against the ground, but aside from some bruises and one rapidly swelling eye she didn't look to be much the worse for wear.

_Hah, that'll teach you to mess with a girl's hair!_ Still, Ino felt a pang of remorse as her gaze fell upon her poor, butchered ponytail. She'd spent so long growing it out that it had almost become a point of pride, even if Sasuke never seemed to give her a second glance. She'd have to find a pair of shears and a mirror so she could at least even it out a bit; if she let Sakura at it she'd probably end up _bald._

Ino knew she was stalling now, but after a moment of thought she stooped to gather up a lock of her hair, tying it in a loose knot and palming it. Then, with a nervous sigh, she walked over to the judge. "I surrender," she declared firmly, holding out her arms as if waiting to be restrained.

The chuunin peered at her skeptically. "Alright..." he granted with a rueful smirk, reaching down to grab her wrists with surprising strength. "I, Gekkou Hayate, accept your unconditional surrender. Now if the prisoner would please state his name for the record?" he prodded, glancing up at the crowd watching from the balcony.

Lifting her chin, Ino tightened her fist around the evidence of her resolve; no more regrets. "I, _Uchiha Sasuke_, forfeit this match!" she announced, waiting for the judge to pronounce her the victor before finally releasing the technique.

_Can you see me __**now,**__ Sasuke-kun?_

* * *

"If you can hear me, you need to calm down! The more you struggle the faster it grows!"

Seemingly in response to its master's voice the bony cocoon began to shudder even more violently, but any cracks that formed in the smooth, pinkish material were sealed as soon as they appeared, growing over with new branch-like limbs. The huge, spiraling mass in the center of room no longer even resembled the human being encased within and the judge apparently felt it would be prudent to stop the fight before it managed to bring down the ceiling.

Stepping forward, the sickly-looking chuunin waved one hand toward the Kiri genin, using the other to cover a cough. "Ahem! The winner: Choujuurou of the Mist!"

Despite this announcement few gazes went to the smiling victor, for the explosive growth of the coral pillar _hadn't stopped._ "Um... should I let him go?" Choujuurou asked sheepishly. "Maybe I should take him outside first?" After an uncertain nod from the judge the swordsman turned back to his immobilized opponent while the great stone doors at the end of the room swung open, grinding noisily against the sand piled in front of them.

_This changes nothing,_ Baki affirmed, watching impassively as the boy somehow coaxed the mass of living stone to squash down into a ball shape and started rolling it out of the arena.

If anything, this was a boon; since Gaara wouldn't be participating in the main event they would be able to position him for maximum impact when the invasion started. This was assuming, of course, that his unstable ward didn't decide to kick off a war with the Mist the moment he was released.

His counterpart on the Kiri team seemed to be thinking along the same lines, judging by the briskness of her approach. "Shall we go along to make sure they don't cause our hosts any more trouble?" she suggested, shooting a fond glance at her student.

"...Perhaps," Baki granted, though now that she was within arm's reach there was something about this woman that set his teeth on edge. Maybe it was the almost predatory look in her eyes, like there was something she wanted and she _relished_ the thought of taking it.

There was also the revelation that he wasn't the only monster minder on this expedition, if that coral was any indication. Being Isobu's keeper was enough to mark Terumii Mei as a powerful ninja indeed, though her name didn't appear in Baki's bingo book. When it came to the infamously paranoid Mist, however, this probably just meant that she hadn't gone missing nin yet.

Shelving his reservations for the moment, Baki nodded toward the door at the end of the balcony and began walking. Given the 'random' match they'd arranged between the two foreign jinchuuriki, it was clear that Konoha was more complacent than oblivious when it came to their dangerous guests. As such, he could probably afford to be a bit less discreet in feeling out Kiri's intentions.

Baki just wished he didn't feel like the jaws of a trap were slowly ratcheting shut as the other jounin fell in beside him, the click of her heeled sandals ringing in his ears. Her step had been as silent as the grave before, so she obviously _wanted_ to be heard - but _why?_

* * *

"Y'know, I kinda figured you were shit at the whole 'fighting' thing, but I mean- were you going easy 'cause you like the guy or are you really just _that bad?_"

Frowning at the stall door, Haku made a series of one-handed seals. A thin rime of frost quickly spread over the floor around his feet, continuing out of sight to crawl up the walls and across the ceiling, warding the room against prying ears and scrying eyes. Haku rarely felt the need to justify himself to ninja from outside of the intelligence branch but he had a feeling he would never hear the end of this if he didn't.

"My friendship with Naruto-kun had nothing to do with it," he corrected testily. "In case you've forgotten, I'm not here to make a public spectacle of myself. The 'kidnapping attempt' will make directors leery of casting 'Sanada Miyuki' in any more lead roles so I should be able to resume my _normal_ mission as soon as the media frenzy dies down. I was planning to give my opponent the win regardless of who it happened to be.

"I also think you're underestimating the challenge of throwing a fight _convincingly,_" he continued, leaning forward onto his knees as he warmed to the topic. "Leaving 'openings' that let you to guide and mitigate attacks is hard enough without an audience of _jounin_ watching from all angles." Haku allowed himself a delicate sniff of disdain. "I would very much like to see you try to do better."

For several seconds there was only silence from the other side of the door and Haku started to worry that he'd accidentally frozen the other boy again (though if he were being completely honest, the first time wasn't exactly an 'accident.')

"Man, that's just _wrong._ You mean you _wanted_ him to slam your ass with a midair Rising Dragon Poke, →↓↘ + P = GG?"

Haku shifted uncomfortably on the soothing sheet of ice he'd summoned over the toilet bowl. "What? I..._what?_ I'm not sure what you just said but it's not as though I _told him_ to do that - and while I will not deny that I am fond of Naruto-kun, my goodwill is _severely strained_ at the moment."

"Aw, c'mon; I'll bet you enjoyed it."

_And so it begins._ "If you'd like to cancel your technique for a moment I would be _happy_ to show you just how _enjoyable_ it was," Haku offered with a menacingly artificial smile, though Suigetsu was probably too dull to hear it.

"..."

"I didn't mean it _that way._ It was excruciating."

_"Riiiiight." _

_Perhaps there will be a caravan leaving for the capital tonight. _"Shouldn't you be watching your cousin fight?" Haku hinted with as little subtlety as he could manage. "If you both progress to the finals the judges will likely pit you against each other just as they did the Hyuuga." He was actually somewhat surprised that they hadn't already; perhaps they didn't want the preliminary matches to look _too fixed?_

"...I don't think I ever told you she was my cousin."

Yes, it was _definitely_ time to get back to work and away from irritating teammates who made him forget which secrets he should be keeping to himself. At least Suigetsu didn't sound _excessively_ suspicious... yet. "Terumii-san can be quite effusive on certain topics," Haku noted, "-_men,_ for instance. She greatly admires the Second, even if he was something of a womanizer. She thinks it will be good for the village if you manage to bring Sakura-san back, though I do believe she would prefer that _you_ married her."

"...Meh, the Jellyfish isn't all that - and she's fighting her _boyfriend_, so he'll probably just forfeit. I wonder who _that_ sounds like?"

"I wonder?" Haku agreed mysteriously, standing and pulling his pants up for greater mobility. "It strikes me that you are quick to accuse others of having romance on the brain, yet all _you_ seem to talk about is getting your hands on _Uchiha Sasuke._ Is there some _deeper reason_ you were so opposed to the fiancé your brother tried to arrange for you?"

* * *

"I'm not going to be able to do this if you can't sit still, Sasuke-kun."

"...Sorry, I just felt a chill."

"You'll be able to put your shirt back on in a minute."

* * *

Kiba closed his eyes and tried to ignore the sound (and scent) of someone being violently ill over the railing. Instead he concentrated on the warmth of Sakura's breath and the softness of her lips, which were both pleasantly distracting until the former suddenly spiked to blast furnace levels and he was forced to pull away.

When he dared to open his eyes Sakura was redder than her hair but not quite the shade of purple he remembered from the bathroom incident. "Not gonna blow up at me this time?" he joked. Kiba was sorely tempted to try again despite the wisps of steam leaking from Sakura's ears; he felt about as 'hot and bothered' as she looked, but he was willing to bet he wasn't _nearly_ as cute.

"D-do you have a_ death wish_, Kiba?" Sakura hissed, each word punctuated by a gout of scalding mist tickling his jaw.

_How is she doing that?_ His gaze started to wander south until he caught himself. "Eh, I figured they might give me the win if I got you to have another meltdown," he explained. Kiba felt his hackles rise as a flash of hurt crossed Sakura's face. "I might really have a death wish, tho," he added hastily. "I mean, water guy's _definitely_ gonna be gunning for me now, so I was wondering... after this is all over, do you maybe wanna get something to eat?"

Sakura's eyes widened and darted to the side as her simmering complexion inched closer to the danger zone. "Well, I-"

_"Get a fucking room, you freak!"_

Looking up, Kiba saw the girl with the buns in her hair glaring at him in utter disgust. "Why aren't you stopping this?" she demanded, turning her ire upon the judge as well. "He's making out with _her head!_"

Kiba exchanged a quizzical glance with Sakura and the chuunin leaning against the wall before pointing Sakura to face the gallery. "She's not dead, you know!" he shouted, carefully lifting the head up higher. Being held by her hair didn't seem to bother Sakura much but it felt kind of rude to just swing her around like some sort of trophy.

A wave of queasy disbelief rippled through the faces of those who didn't know Sakura from the academy - and really, Kiba couldn't blame them. He might not have made her_ explode,_ but the techniques of the Inuzuka clan weren't known for leaving pretty corpses. The Gatsuuga had scattered ragged chunks of flesh all around the arena and both he and Akakamaru looked like they'd been bathing in (cherry flavored) blood.

"Um... maybe you should say something?" Kiba suggested, wincing as he caught a glimpse of Sakura's severed trachea and spinal column. _Seriously, how?! Her lungs are __**over there!**_ "They probably think I'm pulling the same shit as pajama man and his doll," he realized.

"I think I can do something about that," Sakura agreed, her brow furrowing in concentration. Kiba had to fight down a fresh surge of horror as a mass of writhing intestines spilled from the wreckage of Sakura's abdomen and started _crawling across the room,_ dragging Sakura's lower body behind them.

"A-alright, just... tell me when you're done," Kiba coughed around the lump in his throat, looking the other way. At some point Akamaru must have reverted to dog form because Kiba could hear his partner growing warily over the wet slap of raw meat and the renewed sound of dry-heaving overhead.

Eventually he sensed someone approaching him from behind but when he felt the tap on his shoulder Kiba just handed Sakura's head back and waited until a bashful voice finally announced, "Okay, you can look now."

The first thing Kiba noticed when he turned around was that Sakura hadn't fixed her clothes this time. The pink-haired girl was now blushing all the way down to her shoulders as she held the tatters of her blouse together with one hand, her eyes threatening bloody murder if he tried to take a peek.

This was kind of hilarious given how they'd gotten here, but aside from the clothing damage and the copious red stains that still covered _everything_, Kiba could see no evidence that Sakura had ever been injured. "I think you win this one," he conceded with a sigh of mixed relief and resignation.

As if summoned the judge appeared next to them, ready to confirm his defeat, but Sakura gave a slight shake of the head. "It feels wrong for me to win just because_ you can't kill me,_" she observed with a frown. "I barely managed to lay a finger on either of you the whole fight."

"I think this counts as a lot more than 'a finger,'" Kiba countered, waving down at his gore-dyed coat. "I've seen your blood _eat through stone._" A few _'oh shit!'_ looks in the peanut gallery made Kiba instantly regret saying this, but he soldiered on. "If you were going all out the only way I would've survived this fight is by running the other way as fast as I could."

Looking around, Sakura took a step closer and leaned in so he could feel her hot breath on his cheek once more. "I can't really control that yet," she admitted softly, "but your _brilliant plan_ might have done it. That was _really stupid_, you know," she noted, apparently distrustful of his ability to sense sarcasm.

Kiba grinned. "Totally worth it, tho." As the ambient temperature near Sakura ticked up a few degrees, another 'brilliant plan' occured to him. "Maybe I can help you _practice_ so you can get the hang of it?"

Clearing his throat, the judge crossed his arms impatiently. "Perhaps you can discuss this _after_ we determine the victor of this match?" he suggested.

"Ah- yeah, sorry." Swallowing his pride, Kiba silently apologized to Kurenai-sensei and Hinata; someone else would have to get revenge on that stuck-up bastard after all. "I-"

"I concede," Sakura interrupted, leaning away to face the judge. To the stunned looks she got from the two of them she replied, "It's not just because it wasn't a fair fight. There are other reasons for me to bow out here." Worrying her lip with one triangular incisor, she cast Kiba a shy glance. "I'll tell you about it later... over lunch?"

"That works for me!" Kiba accepted quickly, standing straighter to give Naruto a smug look. _Suck it, ass-poke master! I win __**and**__ I get a date with a cute girl!_ \- the creepiest girl alive maybe, but they'd probably be able to avoid any accidental dismemberment over lunch.

After an enthusiastic thumbs-up from the crazy lady who ran the second test, the judge acknowledged Sakura's choice with a somewhat bemused look. "I will accept your forfeit, but your teacher may be a bit disappointed. Hatake-sama seemed to have high hopes for you in the final round, and before he left he made sure I knew not to call your fight on account of grievous injury."

"He did? Hmm... that's strange; I didn't ask him to do that."

* * *

"Is something wrong, Kakashi-kun?"

"...No, I was just thinking that I shouldn't be wasting my time shooting the breeze with you while my other students are still fighting for their futures."

"Ah- you mean the Houzuki girl? She is an _amusing_ one. Perhaps I will make her mine as well..."

"..."

* * *

"Would you like some help?"

Startled by the unexpected query, Ino had to fight the impulse to spin around and put her back to a wall. Instead she tracked the voice with just her eyes, quickly locating the speaker's reflection in the long mirror above the sinks.

When she turned to face the woman who hadn't been standing behind her a second ago, Ino congratulated herself on being the picture of composure. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but a foreign ninja just cornered me in a bathroom and offered to _cut my hair._ I'm not sure how I feel about that." Ino dropped her gaze to the woman's hands. "I mean, you even have _scissors._ Where did you find those?"

The Kiri team's leader smiled coyly. "Would you believe that one of my boys is very fussy about his hair?" she asked with a hint of amusement, holding out the shears handle-first. "I could let you borrow them if you'd prefer, as long as you promise to give them back."

Ino pondered her options. If the offer was genuine then borrowing scissors from a nominal 'ally' was probably an acceptable risk - and they had to be better than Asuma-sensei's trench knife. Aside from being hard to use, it wasn't nearly as sharp in her hands as it was in his.

On the other hand, Ino was betting that the other kunoichi could have given her a shampoo, rinse and perm by now without her even noticing. Ino harbored no illusions about her ability to defend herself if the jounin _really_ wanted to hurt her, so the only added 'risk' she took on by letting the woman cut her hair was the chance that she wasn't very good at it.

Besides, Ino was curious about why the Mist ninja had come looking for _her specifically._ "Actually, if you wouldn't mind...?" She gestured toward the counter and turned back around. As the jounin came closer Ino caught the eyes of the woman in the mirror. "I'll assume that you already know _my name_ since you were watching my match, but I don't think I caught yours."

The brunette met her gaze with smirk. "You can tell anyone who asks that your hair was cut by Terumii Mei of the Mist," she supplied. "It seems I haven't managed to catch the notice of any bookmakers outside of the village yet, so perhaps this will give them something to write about." She spared a glance for the blacked chakra blade Ino was still holding, but didn't comment.

Surveying the damage, Mei pursed her lips in dissatisfaction. "You've done a real number on the back," she observed. "You won't able to tie it up if I even out the sides too much. What do you want me to do with it?"

"Make it look like it _wasn't_ cut by a crazy girl with a kunai," Ino requested sarcastically. "Shorter on on the sides is fine, but I want to keep the fringe long." She wasn't going to wallow and this _wasn't_ a 'just got dumped' haircut. She had _no idea_ what Sasuke thought of her now; they'd barely spoken before he ran off with his teacher and Sakura was clueless even _without_ puppy-boy melting her brain.

"Hmm..." After a few more seconds of fussing Mei lifted the shears and combed her fingers through Ino's hair, taking a few tentative snips. The older kunoichi worked without a word for several minutes and in spite of herself Ino was actually starting to relax when she spoke again.

"That last fight was quite the eye-opener," Mei mused in a casual tone. "I don't think I've ever seen Hydrification used in that fashion."

Ino grimaced. "I was _wondering_ when you were going to bring her up."

A chuckle tickled her ear. "There really is no natural way to segue onto that topic without arousing suspicion," Mei lamented, "especially since you already know a bit about Haruno-san's situation." Taking a step to the left, she continued cutting as though she hadn't just blurted out her true intentions. "You may not believe me, but I only wished to get a firmer picture of the girl who has drawn so much interest from my village's most prominent clan - and who better to ask than her best friend?"

"There's a bit of a flaw in your logic," Ino pointed out, crossing her arms and tapping the flat of the knife on her bicep. "Why would Sakura's best friend say _anything_ to a _very suspicious_ ninja from another village who is _obviously_ poking around behind her back?"

"If you don't want to say anything then that tells me something too," Mei noted with a bright smile.

"It can't tell you _much,_" Ino grumped; as the daughter of a professional interrogator, she was a bit sick the old, 'Everything you _don't say_...' chestnut.

The Kiri ninja gave an ironic little shrug. "Thus far, Haruno-san seems like a very straightforward girl. One gets the impression that she doesn't possess much in the way of 'hidden depths.'"

Ino suppressed a wince; it wasn't an _inaccurate_ description, honestly. "Should I tell her you said that?" she suggested.

"Only if you think you can keep a straight face while she tries to prove me wrong," Mei countered with a knowing smirk. "I don't mean that in a bad way," she added. "The Second Mizukage, widely recognized as the greatest ninja in the history of the Mist, is also remembered as an earnest, honorable man who always wore his heart on his sleeve."

Ino quirked an eyebrow. That seemed a bit incongruous given the Mist's modern reputation, but she felt like there was some hidden subtext here she was missing - something that interested the Kiri jounin beyond Sakura's personality or abilities. "Sakura's a good girl," Ino agreed cautiously. "I'd be very upset if anything were to happen to her."

"You wouldn't be alone," Mei assured her, "but I can't say that there aren't those in my village who feel otherwise." Leaning down to work on the nape of Ino's neck, Mei dropped her voice to a solemn murmur. "Bloodline users have been demonized in the Water Country since long before the clans who roamed the eastern seas were united under a single banner, and often the most misguided fears cling most tenaciously to the hearts of men."

Ino didn't know what to say to that damning admission and Mei seemed disinclined to elaborate, so the uncomfortable silence stretched on until the jounin finally took a step away. "All done," she announced, waving for Ino to have a look at her handiwork.

Without the benefit of a second mirror Ino was forced to tilt her head and peer out of the corner of her eye, but it appeared that Mei had left her with a very passable pixie cut. It was a bit on the shaggy side, but that just meant she could have a professional clean it up later. "It looks good. Th-" As she turned to offer her thanks Ino found herself alone in the bathroom once more. "...I hate it when people to do that," she decided, dusting some clippings from her shoulder.

* * *

"_There_, happy now?"

Frowning, the stony-faced jounin adjusted his grip under the red-haired boy's arms and gave his other student a _look._ "Kankurou," he barked, turning the name into an order.

Kin judged the boy to be white as a sheet under all that makeup, but he dutifully crouched down to check his teammate's vitals. "Sleeping like a baby," he finally declared. The face paint failed to mask his utter disbelief as he stared over his shoulder at her.

"What? It's not like I didn't get you all _before_," she sniffed, shooting him an arch look. Kin also spared some disdain for the bandage-faced exam proctor; if she'd been caught, she'd be damned if she wasn't going to gloat. "Are we done here?" she asked, crossing her arms impatiently.

The proctor gestured for her to wait, then turned to the foreign jounin. "We can't allow him to disrupt the exam, but if this arrangement is acceptable we can keep him sedated until the matches end," he suggested. "Afterward we can wake him up somewhere he can't cause any damage."

Kin's finely honed self-preservation instincts screamed that she was being _volunteered for a mission_. "Hey, I'm not gonna just sit here and _babysit him!_" she snapped. She wasn't sure what they were expecting to happen when she put the seething little psycho to sleep, but she could guess that, A) it hadn't happened, B) it might still happen, and C) she didn't want to be anywhere nearby if it _did happen_.

"Do you have _something better_ to do while Konoha's best medics try to put your teammates back together again?" the chuunin prodded, quirking an eyebrow.

"I thought you were just gonna sew 'em up," Kin noted with a scowl. Their master had confiscated the boys' ruined arms when they'd been brought to the tower, and putting the legs back on without the arms struck her as a little silly (or potentially hilarious.) "If you're talking about Dosu's face, it was always like that."

"If there were no issues before then this will be acceptable," the elder Sand nin interrupted. Pausing to peer at Kankurou for confirmation, he added, "I would prefer to avoid needlessly antagonizing the representatives from Kiri, if possible."

Kin got the distinct impression that this last was aimed at _her_ more than their host. _Fuck! Are the __**Bloody Mist**__ in on the plan now, or does he just not want more enemies?_ Looking from one face to the next, Kin realized that her window to object was rapidly closing. "I- I better be getting _paid_ for this shit!" she growled halfheartedly.

"I'll look into it," the chuunin assured her with the ghost of a smile. Looking around, he nodded toward a nearby bench. "Maybe you should get comfortable? The final matches will probably take another hour or so."

_Yeah; keep laughing, bastard! You'll get yours soon enough!_ After Kin had taken a seat the two conscious Suna ninja maneuvered the red-haired boy around to lay him down on the bench next to her - or at least that's what she thought they were doing, until they propped his head on her thigh. "Oy! What the hell!?" she demanded, cringing away.

"Wouldn't want you going anywhere," the jounin supplied ominously, turning to the gaping genin at his side. "Kankurou, keep an eye on Gaara," he ordered. "I'll send Temari to relieve you after her match ends."

"Ah, y-yeah!" Agreeing with a jerky nod, Kankurou plopped down at Gaara's feet, blocking Kin from scooting him off of her lap.

Kin glared at the three of them before focusing on the only one who might actually care what she thought. "This is gonna cost you _extra!_" she snarled at the exam proctor. "You better be holding a wad of bills the next time I see you!" She stopped short of threatening to knock him out and drop his naked ass down a manhole, but only because Dosu and Zaku didn't need arms and legs to laugh at her if she failed.

His response was another smile and a wave as he and the other man began walking toward the exit. Once they were out of sight Kin looked down at her unwelcome 'charge.' _Eh, at least he's kind of pretty,_ she mused, though the heavy bags under his eyes made her wonder again why the fact that he was asleep was such a big deal.

Kin glanced over at the nervous-looking boy at the opposite end of the bench. She remembered hearing somewhere that the Sand team were all siblings, but the two of them didn't look anything alike. "So, what happened to your stupid hat?" she asked, eyeing the mess of brown spikes he was now sporting.

Kankurou just grunted and looked the other way. As he turned, something small and black and _wriggling_ fell out of his hair and dropped down the back of his collar.

"Man, if you're down here then you're _done,_" she sneered. She wasn't exactly one to talk, but at least she knew when to give up. "Go take a shower or something! You've got _ants_ coming out of your ears."

_"NGAAH!?"_ Flailing like he'd been struck by lightning, Kankurou began frantically dragging his fingers through his hair. "What?! Where!?"

_Hmm..._

* * *

As she approached a bend in the long hallway that led to the medical wing, Temari's ears pricked up at the faint sound of someone humming. At the same moment she felt the tickle of tiny legs marching up her forearm. When she looked down the feeling vanished, but the memory of heaving Kankurou's chakra-drained carcass onto a gurney sent a shiver down her spine.

Quickening her pace, Temari bit her lip as the feeling returned, this time under her dress. One or two destruction bugs couldn't hurt her, could they? Once she'd checked up on Kankurou she'd have to find a ladies' room; she would feel pretty damn stupid if she died of a venomous bug bite right after stomping vomit-girl into the ground.

Despite the mounting urgency of her situation, Temari still had to stop and stare when she reached the end of the hall and found Gaara, laid out on a bench, fast asleep with his head in some strange kunoichi's lap. It was the girl who was humming as she toyed with Gaara's hair, a smirk on her face like the cat that ate the canary.

Meanwhile, Kankuro was practically vibrating in place at the other end of the bench. When he saw her he immediately bolted to his feet. "I'll be right back!" he called, sweating bullets as he hustled toward the restrooms in the corner of the reception area.

The girl with the musical note on her hitai-ate sniggered at his departing back, and Temari noted that ants-in-her-pants sensation started to fade away the moment the humming stopped.

_Oh..._

"You're 'Temari,' I'm guessing? You wanna swap? I think my leg's asleep."

"...Sure."

* * *

Ino returned just in time to see Lee plant face-first into the arena wall. Across the room Shikamaru tucked into a roll as his own dive ended well short of the opposite wall, which in turn caused the boy in green to curl up and arch back, smashing his head against the ground in a much less controlled fall.

Frowning as Shikamaru lay still to catch his breath and Lee mirrored him, locked in thrall of the Kagemane, Ino wondered what happened to the last match. Tenten and Temari had been called down right before she left, and between cut and cleanup Ino estimated that she'd been gone less than fifteen minutes. Following the pattern up till now, she should've been able to catch the tail end of the fight, at least.

It looked like the boys had been going at it for a while, though; Lee's face was a painter's canvas of bruises and scrapes, and while Shikamaru appeared unharmed he was showing clear signs of fatigue. Ino also spotted the charred remains of a flash bomb near the center of the room, attesting to how her lazy partner had managed to catch the high-speed taijutsu specialist in the first place.

A quick glance around for people to press for info revealed a few conspicuous absences: Sakura and _both_ the kunoichi from the previous fight were missing; there went _Plan A_ and _Plan B_. Kiba and his teacher were gone as well. This conjured up images of Kurenai-sensei shadowing the blushing new 'couple' until Ino recalled that both of their teams had members in the medical wing. Sasuke had walked away from their fight under his own power, but Hinata...

Feeling a superstitious stab of worry, Ino searched the balcony for her own teammates, but Asuma-sensei and Chouji were huddled safely by the stairs, thick as thieves. They were likely discussing the next match, which could only be Chouji vs. Suigetsu. Without Sakura to drag along Ino couldn't think of anything useful she could add to that conversation, so she decided to leave them be for now.

Ino noted that the Phantom Hairdresser had returned as well, which struck her as ironic considering the woman's dramatic exit earlier. She thought about approaching the mysterious jounin, just to see the boys' reactions, but she'd spotted Shino leaning on the railing about halfway to the Mist team's corner so Ino sidled up next to the bug user instead.

"Did I miss anything interesting?" she asked, peering skeptically at the unmoving combatants.

Turning his head a fraction to look her way, Shino said nothing for several seconds. His expression was hidden by dark glasses and the collar of his coat, but Ino thought he might be checking out her new look. When he replied Shino covered a stutter-step of distraction by turning back to the 'action' below. "The Sand girl's strong," he muttered, "much stronger than the other one."

Despite that singularly uninformative response, Ino was pleased by the extra attention. _I guess I owe her a 'thank you' after all._ Filling in the blanks, Ino surmised that Temari had won the match handily, though she assumed that 'the other one' referred to the puppet-user. Ino doubted that the building would still be standing had Temari done anything to show up the boy with the giant gourd.

Further speculation was put on hold as Shikamaru finally decided that he'd rested for long enough. Sitting up, he twisted around to look at his opponent, forcing Lee to do the same. "Still not ready to give up?" he deadpanned, pinning Lee with a hood-eyed glare.

Lee just smiled stoically around his swollen eye and split lip. "Every second an enemy wastes facing me is a second they cannot use to threaten my precious people!" he declared. "For my team I would gladly fight until I could no longer stand! And if I fell then I would fight until I could no longer crawl! And then-"

"I get the idea," Shikamaru interrupted. Breathing a sigh dipped in industrial-grade exasperation, the spiky-haired boy turned away and slumped. "I guess I can understand that," he mused after a pregnant pause. "I suppose that means I should have done this earlier..."

Reaching into his back pocket, Shikamaru extracted a single slip of paper. While Lee couldn't see it, Ino doubted that any of the spectators had any trouble figuring out what it was. To add insult to injury, Lee's jumpsuit had no back pockets so the action just made it look like he was scratching his ass.

Shikamaru affixed the explosive tag to the floor, clambered to his feet and faced the opposite wall. Then he began to walk. Limbs heavy with exhaustion turned the boys' stride into a death march, and Shikamaru made sure that Lee's head hung low, so he couldn't look up into the eyes of the crowd; all he could see were his own feet and his final destination.

As they passed the scorch mark left by the flash bomb Lee and Shikamaru exchanged words that were too low to hear. Whatever they said, the march resumed a moment later and soon Lee was standing before the explosive tag, exactly one body-length away. Shikamaru turned them again, looked Lee in the eyes one last time, and fell backwards.

"This match is now over!" the judge announced, emerging from shunshin with his hands under Shikamaru's arms. "The victor is-" He looked up to see Gai standing at his student's side, beaming with pride as Lee held himself up off of the ground by only his fingertips, the back of his head a hand's breadth from the explosive tag. The judge looked down at the limp body in his arms.

"The victor is Rock Lee!"

Releasing the breath she'd been holding, Ino shot her teacher an, 'I got this,' look and jumped down to the arena floor. After the ringside medics deemed that Shikamaru was in no danger, Ino pulled his arm over her shoulder and walked them off the field.

"You big faker," she whispered, attempting to tread in his toe only for him to conveniently 'stumble' out of the way.

"Last round... so many _girls_..." Shukamaru whinged groggily.

"_Bullshit,_" Ino hissed, nodding to Chouji as he shuffled by them on the stairs. "First Sakura and now you? Am I the _only one_ here who wants to make chuunin?"

"Wouldn'a bothered fighting if _she_ got in," Shikamaru mumbled, grunting in annoyance as Ino 'accidentally' banged his shoulder into the wall. "_Troublesome..._"

As they reached the gallery Ino turned to look over the railing at Chouji's opponent. The Kiri genin already had a kodachi in either hand and a cocky, shark-toothed grin on his face.

"Alright lard-ass, let's get this over with!" he crowed, drawing his blade across his neck in the traditional, 'I will cut you!' pose - except that Suigetsu _actually did_ 'cut' his own throat, providing everyone a grim reminder of the invulnerability of his liquid body.

_Yeah, no kidding..._

* * *

_"Hya!"_ Squealing as something cold and wet pressed against the hollow of her neck, Sakura glanced down to find Akamaru peering up at her expectantly. "What do you think you're doing?" she snapped in mock irritation, adjusting her grip on the squirming puppy.

"Making sure you're awake?" Kiba suggested as he stepped up behind her. Leaning around Sakura's shoulder, he mirrored his partner's inquisitive gaze. "Something wrong?"

Sakura's cheeks warmed as she realized she was blocking the door. "Ah, sorry!" She pressed her back to the wall to make room. "I was just... _surprised._" Sakura turned to the balcony, where Ino was leaning on the guardrail practically hip-to-hip with Shino.

Kiba peeked around the door frame to see what she was staring at. "Hmm..." he agreed, nodding sagely. Meanwhile, Akamaru gave a whuff of impatience and laid his muzzle down on Sakura's arm.

It wasn't just the pair's proximity that threw her, though. _Her hair..._ "It's so _short._"

"Eh?" Kiba glanced back at her incredulously.

"Ah... did I say that out loud?" Sakura was _sure_ the top of her head was smoking now, but dammit, this was _big!_ "It's kinda hard to explain, but-" And suddenly Sakura very much _did not_ want to explain why nearly every girl in their class had long hair. "Um... it's cute, isn't it?" she blurted. "Her hair, I mean."

Kiba clearly wasn't buying any. Still, he humored her and gave Ino another look. "I dunno," he replied. "Hinata's cute, but _Ino?_ It ain't like she looks like a _guy_, but she's kinda more... 'spicy?'" Kiba stuck out his tongue like he could taste the word he was searching for.

Sakura's lips twitched into a crooked smile; Kiba was no poet, but as flavors went it was a pretty good fit. When they were kids Ino had always felt a bit 'dangerous' to her, sort of like the boys did, but now her rival was definitely broadcasting _'too hot to touch'_ on all frequencies.

"So what do you think of _me,_ then?" she asked, fishing for a tasty compliment. Sakura's courage shriveled up like a slug on a salt lick as Kiba gave her a thousand-yard stare. "Y-you don't have to answer that!" she backpedaled desperately.

Kiba deflated with a whooshing sigh of relief, but he immediately started sweating bullets again as the awkwardness set in. "Eheh..." His hand went to the back of his head as a strained smile tugged at his cheeks.

"I- I should go check up with my team!" Sakura squeaked, scanning the gallery for the eye-watering orange of Naruto's jumpsuit.

"Yeah, I should too!" Kiba agreed enthusiastically, even though they'd been with Kurenai-sensei not five minutes ago. Stepping onto the balcony, he waved to the only other member of Team 8 who was present. "Hey, Shino!"

_Oops!_ Finally spotting the gray thistle that was Kakashi-sensei's head, Sakura turned to make a break for it. She only got three steps before her best friend's voice pierced her like a knife in the back.

"Sakura!" Ino called. When Sakura risked a peek over her shoulder Ino beckoned her toward the railing. "Come take a look at this."

She didn't seem _too annoyed_ by the interruption, but Sakura's feet still required a bit of coaxing to change course and meander over to the balcony's edge. As Sakura drew closer Ino gave her a bemused smile. "Did Kiba stick his foot in his mouth again?" she guessed.

Sakura shook her head ruefully. "Not _exactly,_" It was more like she'd chickened out before either of them could cop to _not knowing_ why he'd asked her out, or why she'd accepted.

Breathing out a cloud of steam to ease the roiling in her tummy, Sakura snuck a glance at the corner where Kiba was interrogating Shino. Unfortunately, the boys were facing the other way so it was hard to tell what they were saying, and _imagining_ their conversation just made Sakura _more nauseous._

A chest-level whine of dismay reminded her that she was still holding Akamaru; apparently he didn't fancy getting a poodle perm because of her nerves. "Oops!" Sakura started to put him down, but then thought better of it and held him out to Ino instead. "Um... wanna hold him?" she asked.

Ino considered the peace offering for a moment, then graciously accepted the put-upon puppy. Ino's nose wrinkled as she cradled Akamaru in her arms. "_Eew,_ wet dog smell."

"I gave him a bath while Kiba was visiting Hinata," Sakura explained sheepishly. "I was worried that the food coloring might stain."

"I can imagine," Ino agreed, eyeing the red-dyed hoodie that Sakura was now wearing over her ruined dress. "Giving that back after you wash it?"

"...He said I didn't need to," Sakura mumbled, looking away.

"Didn't need to _what_ \- give it back or _wash it?_" Ino needled suggestively.

"..."

Once she realized she wasn't getting an answer to that one, Ino gave a snort of amusement and returned her attention to the match. "Anyway, what do you think?" she asked again.

Curious, Sakura peered over the edge, then frowned in confusion. "What did I miss?" Whatever she'd been expecting to see, it _wasn't_ Chouji's Human Bullet Tank doing doughnuts in the middle of the muddy puddle formerly known as Suigetsu.

Scratching Akamaru between the ears, Ino gave Sakura a secretive smirk. "Not much, according to Shino, but Lee did convince Shikamaru that making chuunin was too much _trouble._" She nodded to the arena floor. "Otherwise, they've been doing _this_ since the fight started."

"Hmm..." As Sakura watched, she noted that the puddle was moving in a distinctly defensive fashion. The water was continuously parting before the rolling sphere of destruction, but not fast enough to prevent Chouji from kicking up a rooster-tail of wake as he orbited the room. "How long can Chouji keep this up?" she asked, a suspicion forming in the back of her mind.

"Probably for a while," Ino mused. "I saw him pop a couple soldier pills before the fight started." She flinched back as a wave of spray doused part of the balcony. "Is it doing him any good, though?"

Sakura glanced around to make sure nobody was standing too close, and murmured quietly, "_Maybe;_ remember in taijutsu practice how Mizuki-sensei kept telling us that 'dehydration kills?'" At Ino's nod, she continued. "Well, it's the same for the Houzuki. Water vapor is harder to control than liquid water, so most of them start to have problems if too much of their body mass evaporates."

Sakura gestured down at the scene below. "Increased surface area and motion can boost the rate of evaporation, and if you lose too much mass you have to start replacing it, either from an external source or by converting chakra into water. This may look silly, but if Chouji can keep the pressure on until Suigetsu runs out of steam he might actually win."

Ino grimaced. "Good to know, I guess, but it sounds like we're going to be here for a while." As she turned back to the fight a twinge of alarm pinched the blonde girl's brow. "Suigetsu can't actually make _steam,_ can he?" she asked, giving Sakura a meaningful look.

"Nope!" Sakura confirmed, leaning forward to flash Ino an evil grin over the collar of her new coat. "The Second Mizukage was the last member of the clan who was able to turn his body into steam. In fact, it drives Suigetsu _crazy_ that a 'bloodline freak' like me can do it."

Ino stilled and for a moment and Sakura thought she saw a bloom of shock in the other girl's eyes, but then it was gone, replaced by a familiar look of exasperation. "Is there some _reason_ you didn't use that to keep Kiba off your back?" Ino prodded.

_Other than that I didn't think of it?_ It was hard not to bang her head against the railing when Ino put it that way. Unlike that weird, random corrosive effect, Sakura actually _could_ make steam on demand - and despite her reservations regarding Mangetsu's plans, it would've been _delicious_ to see the look on Suigetsu's face if she'd won her match that way.

Maybe it was for the best that she hadn't, though. "It's not really my best trick," Sakura hedged. "I'm good at controlling water vapor, so I don't have to worry so much about running out, but I've never really tried to make a lot of steam all at once," _-not on purpose, anyway._ Sakura was extremely glad that Kiba's attempt to reproduce her 'first kiss meltdown' had failed; that could've been a _disaster._

A conflicted expression flitted across Ino's face and her next question came only after a deliberate pause. "So, was the Second Mizukage the one who...?"

It didn't take long for Sakura to figure out what Ino was asking; it was something she'd wondered herself, after all. Still, she had to cringe at the absurdity of it. "You're giving me _way too much_ credit," she deadpanned. "There were literally dozens of ninja it could have been - not to mention, that would make me and Suigetsu _cousins!_" Sakura shuddered at the thought.

This time the look of terrible portent lingered on Ino's face, but while she was collecting her thoughts a plume of foam geysered up from the arena floor. When they turned to look they found Chouji brought to a dead stop, spinning his wheels as he tried to climb a 'ramp' of cloudy water.

_Did he partially solidify?_ Suigetsu would have to burn _a lot_ of chakra to exert that much force in liquid form, and from the way Chouji was tearing him up it couldn't last for long, so why-

The explosion that rocked the room sent everyone diving for cover, but only Lee and the jounin were fast enough to avoid getting soaked as Suigetsu went _everywhere,_ while Chouji rocketed through the air to slam into the ceiling.

"He- he must've crapped up all of his explosive tags!" Ino guessed between sputters of disgust - and judging from the huge hole in the floor, Sakura had to agree. "What happened to Chouji?"

Sakura was already searching for the other boy, innured as she was to being covered in Suigetsu's guts (not that anyone else probably thought of it that way.) The impact crater in the ceiling was much more cleanly circular than the one in the floor, and in the center of it a pair of legs dangled bonelessly, everything from the waist up embedded in the stone.

"M-maybe you shouldn't look," Sakura suggested, trying her hardest to keep her voice steady; it was horrible, and Chouji could be _really hurt,_ but-

"_What?_" Ino demanded, picking herself up off the floor to follow Sakura's gaze. "Is he..."

_"Pfft!"_

"D-_don't laugh,_ dammit!"

"I wasn't!"

* * *

**WINTER CHERRY** (End?)

_(This as far as i got with the idea. I am not sure if i'll ever continue it, since even individual chapters tend to tell significantly less than a whole story, but hopefully the ride has been entertaining thus far...)_


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